|Master Harry Bates|
|Date of birth||1971|
|Place of birth|
|Date of death|
|Place of death|
|Billed from||Braddock, TX|
|Trainer||Jabbajaw and Kelly Millis|
In an attempt to lure the temporarily retired Jabbajaw back to take over the Braddock County Public Library Texas Collection from CityD, Kelly Millis hired a new Texas Collection Librarian to replace Aaron Whitaker. Millis said, "We are so pleased to announce the hiring of Master Harry Bates. Master Bates is an expert genealogist and is well-published. He is a very close, personal friend of mine and of Noah Retro, so we are pleased as punch to offer him our favorite position. He will make a great addition to our staff. While he is more than capable of rebuilding our now ruined Texas Collection, I still prefer to have the experience and friendly nature of Jabbajaw to hold the position, hopefully she will return to lead our genealogy collection for several more decades."
CityD and Steven Grant were unavailable for comment. Library Operations Manager Inez Mitchell said that "I could care less if that fat hog comes back to work here. I never liked the lazy, incompetent old bag anyway. I hoped that by getting rid of (Aaron) Whitaker, she would retire, and in turn, force her geeky husband to follow, but she just took a bunch of leave. It was my goal to shut the collection down by allowing The Liberal Librarian to weed the entire collection and then to put that insane CityD in charge, but alas, Kelly wants to bring Jabbajaw back."
Bates is a henchman and body guard for Millis and is generally considered by BCPL and WNWA employees as one of the creepiest and disturbing individuals on the roster, rivaling even The Turd.
- Entrance song is "It's Raining Men" by The Weather Girls.
- Is bitterly hated by co-worker Steven Grant.
- Has a phobia for pizza.
- Claims to be married, but in actuality he is married to another man.
- Like his hero Millis, Master Bates is a conservative. He has a deep hatred for The Liberal Librarian both for being liberal and for destroying Jabbajaw's Texas Collection in her absence.
- Is heavily involved in the Solie Genealogical Society and produces their quarterly journal.
- Limp-Wristed Handshake (arm twist)
- heart punch
Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.