Political Championship Wrestling
From the eWrestling Encyclopedia.
Contents |
[edit] About Political Championship Wrestling
PCW originally began in March, 2005 and combines political satire and professional wrestling. Written in the style of Paul Heyman and the old ECW (Extreme Championship Wrestling), PCW is Political, Hardcore, Extreme, Wrestling or PHEW!- accurately describing the current state of American politics.
Bubba Jackson and DeWayne Cantrell are the co-owners of PCW. The CEO of PCW is Barack Obama. His aide de camp is Joe Biden.
PCW uses three different formats:
PCW HOUSE SHOW or ROAD SHOW- listing of roughly 6 to 7 matches from a PCW road show.
PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV and PCW on P-SPAN- Hosted by the ‘voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave
PCW PAY PER VIEW- Big ‘events’ held 3-4 times a year. Pay per views are hosted by Suave and his co-host and constant companion- a life-size cardboard cut-out of either Shania Twain………yeah, don’t ask. The biggest event in PCW is the biannual ‘PCW Extreme Election Night’ that coincides with the national mid-term and presidential elections.
PCW is set up similar to your typical pro wrestling show except that instead of the good guys vs. bad guys (or ‘face’ vs. ‘heels’) it’s the left vs. right. The Progressive Alliance are the Democrats/Liberals. The American Patriots are the Republicans/Conservatives. And as always, there are the unaffiliated independents in the middle.
[edit] PCW Rankings
Updated April 20th, 2009
PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
- 1 A. Tom Bomb (American Patriots)
- 2 Randy "Road Rage" Richardson (Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
- 3 Big Monster Wahlie (Domination Inc.)
PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (American Heartland Coalition)
CONTENDERS:
- 1 Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance)
- 2 Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPac)
- 3 Mercedes(Domination Inc.)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Vacant
CONTENDERS:
- 1 Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Dick Cheney's Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
- 2 Cadillac and Jaguar (Domination Inc.)
- 3 Schett Brothers- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Ron Paul's New Libertarian Army)
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (Independent)
CONTENDERS:
- 1 Newt Tron Bomb (McCain’s Marauders)
- 2 Dave the Mechanic (American Heartland Coalition)
- 3 American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)
[edit] PCW Roster
Updated April 27th, 2009
PCW STAFF:
PCW Security Director: Dawn McGill ‘The 6 Foot Tall Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt’
PCW Ring Announcer: Charlene Ann Beckworth
PCW Official Spokesperson: Gina Ramsey
ROSTER (wrestler/manager/finishing move)
Progressive Alliance
Executive Director: Tim Kaine
Leader: Rahm Emanuel aka Rahmbo/ F-Bomb
‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama/Mgr: ‘Not Just Intolerable, Not Just Unbearable, He is…” Justin Sufferable/Bahama Backbreaker (modified torture rack)
‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido/Angle Ankle Lock
Kathryn Randall Collins aka KRC/ Politics of Personal Destruction
Starz N. Stripes/American Stars and Fuji Bar
Emily List/Mgr- Code Pink
Blue Dog D
American Patriots
Executive Director: Michael Steele
Leader: Eric Cantor
‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas/ Texas Lariat
A. Tom Bomb/ Mgr: Daisy Cutter-Bomb/ Atomic Power Bomb
Newt Tron Bomb/ Mgr: Daisy Cutter-Bomb/ Silent But Deadly
RINO-Republican in Name Only
Dick Cheney's Extreme Neo-Con Alliance
Leader: Dick Cheney
Hallie Burton
Randy “Road Rage” Richardson aka…Quadruple R
Big Oil/ Mgr: Texas Tex/ Oklahoma Driller (modified piledriver)
Kirk Walstreit- Wall Street Market Analyst with a man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit/ Stock Market Plunge
SarahPac
Leader: ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin
Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen/ Alaskan Pieface (modified implant buster)
Grizzly Adam/ Bear Hug
Hunter the Hunter/ Bear Trap
NRA/ Gun Rack (modified torture rack)
Domination, Inc.
CEO: Mr. McMann
CFO: Gordon Guyko
Corporate Spokesperson: Bradley Scott Wilson Esq.
Corporate Secretary: Richard Emerson Brantley III
Corporate Enforcer: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot/ Choke Slam or Power Bomb
Corporate Counsel: Felcher and Felcher
Corporate Security: Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice (2 former police officers fired from their jobs because of their rough and extreme methods of law enforcement)/ Taser
Big Monster Wahlie…aka BMW
Cadillac
Jaguar
Mercedes/Mercedes Bendz
Porsche Lexus
American Heartland Coalition
‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin/ Pizza Cutter (modified Diamond Cutter)
American Trucker/ Mgr: Tequila Sheila/ Jake Brake
Average Joe/ Average Slam
Dave the Mechanic (formerly FUBAR)/ Jumper Cables
‘Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade/ Redneck 4-D Death Blast
Politically Incorrect:
-Andrea Doria-Mgr
-Al Cahall/ Southern Comfort
-Nic Koteen/ Smoker
Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army
Leader: Ron Paul
Jack Schett and Bull Schett/Mgr: Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer/Schett Brick
Green World Order
‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee/ The Juicer
PeaceNick/ Chloroform
GreenPete/ Harpoon (modified spear or gore)
Peta from PETA/ Dog Collar aka sleeper hold
Independents
SNAFU/ Mgr: Dr. Bill/ Arabian Facebuster
The Island of Misfit Wrestlers
Leader: Movie Classic
Jimmy from So Cal- Jim Rome clone wannabee/ The Rack
Michael Hunt and Richard Headd of ‘Guys With Unfortunate First Names Given Their Surname’
Dredd Pirate Douggie
Dick Van Dam
The Mysterious Dr. Mysterious
Mr. Jaundice
Captain Nausea
[edit] PCW Title Lineage 2005-present
PCW (BCEW) TITLE: March 2005 – May 2005- Rafeal Barry Giambee (American Patriots)
Giambee’s title reign was filled with controversy as he had the unique distinction of being the only PCW (BCEW) champion to never actually wrestle a match on a BCEW Pay Per View or House show. Part of the issue was the fact that Giambee was suspected of using steroids. That might have explained how Giambee went from being a skinny, 175 pound lightweight into a 6 foot 3, 350 pounds of huge rippling muscles, huge washboard abs, and a head two hat size larger than before. Giambee’s title reign came to an end at BCEW’s Revenge of the Pith pay per view show in May, 2005 when he was found dead and hanging in the walk-in cooler at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon- presumably from steroid abuse.
The BCEW title remained vacant until January 2006, BCEW Backbreak Mountain.
January 2006- November 7th, 2006- “No Frills” Chris Escondido (Independent)
With the help of John McCain, Escondido defeated 29 other wrestlers at BCEW Backbreak Mountain to become the new BCEW champion. The match was down to Independent Escondido and A. Tom Bomb from the American Patriots. Dick Cheney tried to sneak a foreign object to A-Bomb but McCain caught him red-handed. While McCain and Dick argued, Escondido pushed the distracted A-Bomb over the top rope and climbed up Backbreak Mountain (in actuality, a ladder decorated up like a mountain) and claimed the title.
November 7th, 2006- January 20th, 2008- “Not just intolerable. Not just unbearable. He is…” Justin Sufferable (Progressive Alliance)
Justin Sufferable chased the BCEW title for several months before November’s BCEW Extreme Election Night 2006. After several close calls, much of them instigated by a rival within with the Progressive Alliance, Triple R (aka Road Rage Randy), Sufferable defeated Chris Escondido when Triple R’s interference backfired and he accidently knocked out Escondido with a chairshot.
Bad luck soon revisited Sufferable. On the January 17th, 2007 edition of BCEW Extreme Political TV, both Sufferable and Escondido were viciously attacked by EECW champion Bobby Lashaway at the direction of ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann. Mr. McMann had declared war on the extreme nature of BCEW and wanted to take it over to infuse his ‘sports entertainment genius’ into the promotion. Both Sufferable and Escondido suffered major knee injuries and were slated to be out for a year.
On March 25th, 2007 at the BCEW vs. EECW War pay per view, Triple R (Progressive Alliance) defeated 14 other wrestlers to become the provisional champion- with the proviso that when Sufferable returned from his injury there would be a unification match. However, after Triple R shown himself to be working with Mr. McMann and declared on the April 7th, 2007 Extreme Political TV that he was taking the BCEW belt to EECW to throw it in the trash can, BCEW Owner Bubba Jackson made a rare TV appearance and fired Triple R on the spot.
Triple R shortly afterwards re-applied to BCEW and worked his way back up. At BCEW Loose Cannons Unleashed 3 on June 3rd, 2007, Triple R defeated Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots) and Little Paulie of the American Bikers (Independent) to win the provisional championship a second time. Triple R demanded the title belt but a returning Justin Sufferable challenged him to a match in September at BCEW Loose Cannons Lock and Load.
September 30th, 2007- Loose Cannons Lock and Load. Sufferable faced off against Triple R but was jumped and laid out by the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Paul Krugman, Media Matters For America, Daily Kos, and Eric Alterman). The title situation remained unresolved until October 28th, 2007 at BCEW Night of Champions. On the night of Triple R's coronation as the BCEW champion, Sufferable attacked him and an impromptu title match followed. Sufferable defeated Triple R and became the undisputed BCEW champion.
On January 20th, 2008, Sufferable suffered a second major knee injury against Starz N. Stripes. After doctors determined that Sufferable needed major reconstructive knee surgery, he vacated the title a week later.
The title would remain vacant until March 4th, 2008.
March 4th, 2008- November 4th, 2008 – “The Original Rookie Sensation” Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots)
The early part of the year saw Starz N. Stripes, with John McCain’s leadership, emerge as the lead wrestler for the American Patriots. The Progressive Alliance had a major battle going on for the leadership position between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Clinton managed Triple R and pushed him to become the #1 wrestler of the Progressive Alliance. Barack Obama brought in a new, inexperienced wrestler named O’Beck Bahama and guided him quickly up the ladder. Bahama defeated Triple R two weeks before in a wild match that saw Hillary Clinton turn on DLC to support Triple R, and Arianna Huffington and her Angry Left Wing Bloggers turn on Triple R and switch their allegiance to O’Beck Bahama and Barack Obama.
Starz defeated Bahama and Independent Halitosis- the Insanely Smelling Luchador to become the new BCEW champion.
On May 6th, 2008, BCEW become PCW-Political Championship Wrestling
November 4th, 2008 – present “The New Rookie Sensation” O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)
O’Beck Bahama and Barack Obama feuded with PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes and John McCain through the spring all the way to November 4th – PCW Extreme Election Night 2008. In a classic match that saw multiple run-ins and dramatic switches in momentum back and forth, Bahama finally pinned Starz when Dick Cheney accidently knocked McCain down as he was trying to break the count.
PCW (BCEW) WOMEN’S TITLE:
In the first year of BCEW, there was a women’s championship title. But “Sports Entertainment Genius” Mr. McMann came along and disbanded the BCEW Women’s title because he felt people didn’t want to see women wrestle.
BCEW brought back the women’s title on March 25th, 2007 at BCEW vs. EECW War.
March 25th, 2007 to September 30th, 2007- ‘Defense Expert’ Hallie Burton (American Patriots)
At the March BCEW vs. EECW War pay per view, Burton won a five way free for all match over ‘BCEW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin, ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree, ‘Trailer Park Honey’ Tanya Hardy with the White Trash Posse, and Peta from PETA to become the new BCEW Women’s champion.
September 30th, 2007- January 8th, 2008- ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree (Progressive Alliance)
With Barack Obama in her corner and Opal’s Flock (New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom) providing cover, Winfree defeated Hallie Burton at BCEW Lock and Load 2.
January 8th, 2008- January 20th, 2008- Kathryn Randall Collins aka KRC (Progressive Alliance)
In early January of 2008, the Barack Obama-Hillary Clinton pitched battle for control of the Progressive Alliance raged white hot. Clinton’s Political Pitbulls (James Carville, Terry McAuliffe, and Sidney Blumenthal) provided the difference at BCEW Mayhem in Manchester (NH) to give KRC the edge in a 3 way dance. The match was originally scheduled to be a non-title match. But Hillary Clinton goaded Winfree into making the match for the women’s title and KRC landed a shot with a steel chain to take the title.
January 20th, 2008- November 4th, 2008- ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree (Progressive Alliance)
Barack Obama learned a lot from Winfree’s loss in New Hampshire. So when KRC and Winfree had a rematch for the women’s title at the BCEW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction pay per view two weeks later, Obama returned the favor by distracting the referee enough for Winfree to roll up KRC to win the title back.
November 4th, 2008- March 9th, 2009- Kathryn Randall Collins aka KRC (Domination, Inc.)
Things looked bleak from Kathryn Randall Collins in the spring. Collins lost a number one contender’s match against ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and felt abandoned by Hillary Clinton and the Progressive Alliance. KRC accepted an offer from ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and joined his corporation. Mr. McMann used his corporate influence to get KRC reinstated to the number one slot and then the Corporation enticed 3 Amigas’ member Daisy Cutter-Bomb to join them. Daisy turned on Martin and put her out of action for a month. Collins and the Corporation then destroyed Opal Winfree at PCW Extreme Election Night and she regained the PCW Women’s title for the second time.
March 9th, 2009 - present ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (Joe SixPacks)
After a long climb up the ladder, Tessa finally broke through at a house show in Buffalo, NY. Originally, Mia Margarita was supposed to wrestle PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins. But PCW Security Director Dawn McGill used Mia’s knockout drug against her at PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction and she was unavailable.
Tessa surprised everyone by showing up. She ran across the ring and nailed KRC with her oversized pizza box (with metal road sign inside) and then hit a pizza cutter to win the title.
PCW (BCEW) TAG TEAM TITLE:
March 2005 to June 7th, 2007- The Flyin’ Martini Brothers (Independent)
For much of BCEW/PCW’s lifetime, the Flyin’ Martini Brothers (Independent) dominated the tag team title scene. The brothers were known for their unorthodox pre-match ritual which usually consisted of guzzling down a bottle of Jack Daniels and then breaking the bottles over their head. It wasn’t conventional by any stretch of the imagination, but it worked for them. Their finishing maneuver consisted of one of the Martinis getting punched in the stomach. This usually resulted in retching and extreme nausea followed by spewing and projectile vomiting on their opponents.
June 7th, 2007- September 30th, 2007- Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete of the Green World Order (Progressive Alliance)
For the first year and a half of BCEW, the Green World Order weren’t taken very seriously. They rarely won matches. The mere appearance of one of the GWO members set off an ugly reaction from the crowd.
Then came the December 24th, 2006 BCEW Christmas Extravaganza. The GWO had come out to protest Christmas decorations at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon and got laid out by Nic Koteen of Politically Incorrect dressed up like Santa Claus. Then to add insult to injury, the Dixie Chucks defeated the GWO in 10 seconds to become the #1 Progressive Alliance contender for the tag team belts. GreenPete and Brock Cole Lee snapped and spent the rest of the night rampaging through BCEW.
The GWO finally reached the pinnacle on June 7th, 2007 at BCEW Loose Cannons 3 by defeating the long time champions, the Flyin’ Martini Brothers for the belts.
September 30th, 2007- April 1st, 2008- The Flyin’ Martini Brothers (Independent)
It’s didn’t take long for the Martinis to win the tag team titles back. At BCEW Loose Cannons Lock and Load 2, the Martinis looked like they would fall once again to the GWO when A-Bomb and H-Bomb ran out took out GreenPete and PeaceNick. Dan Martini projectile vomited all over Brock Cole Lee and then passed out on top of him to get the pin and the tag team belts back.
April 1st, 2008- May 3rd, 2008- A. Bomb and H-Bomb aka The Bomb Brothers (American Patriots)
The Bomb Brothers were also BCEW Originals. They originally started off in the American Patriots until they quit and became Independents. In early 2008, John McCain brought the Bomb Brothers back into the American Patriots and the move immediately paid dividends. At BCEW Night of Champions, A-Bomb and H-Bomb executed a strategy of doing exactly nothing to let the Martinis stumble around and take themselves out. A-Bomb gets the pin to end the era of the Flyin’ Martini Brothers in BCEW.
May 3rd, 2008- November 4th, 2008- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance)
Just when the Bomb Brothers thought they’d have a nice tag team title reign of their own, Jack Schett and Bull Schett came along. The Schetts knocked off the Bombs at a BCEW House Show in Archbold, Ohio to become the new tag team champions.
November 4th, 2008- present- Big Oil w/Texas Tex and Kirk Walstreit (Domination, Inc.)
Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit rode high in the spring with astronomically high gas and stock prices lining their pockets. Then the bubble burst and prices plummeted. ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann made them an offer they couldn't turn down and both men joined his corporation. Teaming together for the first time, Big Oil and Walstreit first obliterated former champions A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb of the American Patriots to become the number one contenders for the PCW Tag Team titles. Big Oil and Walstreit then finished the job at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008.
PCW (BCEW) TELEVISION TITLE:
In early 2008, BCEW created a television title that would be defended primarily on Extreme Political TV.
March 9th, 2008- April 28th, 2008- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Independent)
A former BCEW champion, Escondido made it all the way back from a severe knee injury in 2006 to defeat Big Oil (American Patriots) and Triple R (Progressive Alliance) to become the inaugural BCEW Television champion. Triple R eliminated Big Oil via the figure four leg lock early on. Then, in retaliation for an attack on O’Beck Bahama after he lost a title match against BCEW champion Starz N. Stripes, Bahama, Barack Obama, Arianna Huffington and the Angry Left Wing Bloggers, and the Clinton Political Pitbulls attacked Triple R and laid him out. Escondido got the easy cover for the win and the television title.
April 28th, 2008- May 26th, 2008- Big Oil (American Patriots)
The Spring of 2008 brought about the rise of Big Oil. With gas prices skyrocketing to record levels and lining Big Oil’s pockets with massive amounts of cash, Big Oil limped to the ring on the April 28th, 2008 edition of Extreme Political TV after being kicked over a railing and falling through a table 10 feet below. After pushing Escondido off the top rope and powerbombing Halitosis into oblivion, Big Oil took the television title.
May 26th, 2008- June 9th, 2008- Indianola Jones (Independent)
Big Oil found himself embroiled in a bitter feud with the American Trucker (formerly Mike the Mechanic) and Average Joe. Week after week, Big Oil came out and gloated about the record gas prices. American Trucker and Average Joe both confronted him on numerous occasions. On May 19th, 2008’s PCW Extreme Political TV, 65 year old former wrestling star Indianola Jones came by to pay a visit. In the middle of his remarks, Big Oil kicked him out of the ring for being old and irrelevant. Later in the show, American Trucker and Average Joe set the money inside Big Oil’s wheelbarrow on fire with help from Jones.
This set up the May 26th PCW Extreme Political TV where Jones challenged Big Oil for the television title and provided a George Foreman moment when he caught the big guy in the Katahajime and made him tap out.
June 9th, 2008- November 4th, 2008- FUBAR (Independent)
FUBAR was a perennial jobber in his first three years in BCEW. His career went on an uptick when Coach Bobby Petrino became his manager and vowed to coach FUBAR up into the BCEW elite. However, after one week, Petrino bolted for a better paying job and left FUBAR to continue to flounder. After a series of losses to Chris Escondido, FUBAR publicly expressed his displeasure with the state of his wrestling career. Escondido, overhearing FUBAR’s griping, sarcastically suggested he get himself a life coach. FUBAR took him up on the advice and showed up the next week with his new life coach- Dr. Bill. FUBAR took the television champion Indianola Jones to the limit which set up a 3 way dance at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 4 between FUBAR, Indianola Jones, and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido for the PCW Television title.
FUBAR got some help from Big Oil who gained a measure of revenge on Jones by taking him out before the match. Jones somehow made it to the ring and FUBAR quickly pinned him. Escondido gets pasted by FUBAR with Dr. Bill’s clipboard and FUBAR becomes the new champion.
November 4th, 2008- February 17th, 2009- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)
Escondido was the first PCW Television as an Independent. ‘American Screamer’ Howard Dean came to Escondido in September and offered him a spot in the Progressive Alliance with the understanding that he would be pushed for the TV title. In the best shape since returning from a knee injury, Escondido stalked FUBAR for several weeks before he secured a title shot at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008. At Extreme Election Night. Escondido locked in the ankle lock on FUBAR and became the first two-time PCW Television champion.
February 17th, 2009 - March 10th, 2009- Seany McMann (Domination Inc.)
Starting with PCW Extreme Election Night 2008, Domination Inc. slowly became a major force in Political Championship Wrestling. ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann’s son Seany came to visit and wanted a special 21st birthday present- the PCW Title. Mr. McMann, steamed about a hearing the day before, arranged for the Progressive Alliance to be locked in a room and then engineered Seany’s upset win over Escondido to become the new PCW Television Champion.
March 10th, 2009 - May 17th, 2009- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)
Escondido gained revenge on the young McMann by totally dominating him in a cage match with no interference.
May 17th, 2009 - present – SNAFU (Independent)
SNAFU became the second Dr. Bill managed wrestler to rise up from the talent enhancement ranks to capture the PCW Television Title. Dr. Bill prescribed a crash diet of watching ECW DVD’s featuring Sabu to SNAFU who took the medicine to heart. SNAFU slowly improved over the months and then defeated reigning TV champ ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido on PCW on P-SPAN to take the title.
[edit] Shows
PCW Extreme Political TV:
PCW Extreme Political TV is a weekly show posted every Wednesday night at PCW at Wordpress and PCW at Blogger. The host is the 'Voice of PCW' Johnny Suave and his life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain.
PCW on P-SPAN
PCW's other weekly show. PCW on P-SPAN is posted every Sunday night.
PCW Newsline
PCW updates storylines and reviews PCW Extreme Political TV and previews PCW on P-SPAN every Thursday.
PCW Big Events or 'PPV's'
Every three months or so, PCW holds a 'PPV' event.
Annual events: 'Loose Cannons Unleashed' (2005-present), 'Lock and Load' (2006-present), PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction (2008-present)
Every other year (corresponding with U.S. mid-term and presidential elections) PCW Extreme Election Night (2006-present)
