Simon Fleas
[[Image:{{{image}}}|{{{image_width}}}px|Image of Simon Fleas]]
Real name {{{realname}}}
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Height 5'11"
Weight 230lbs
Date of birth {{{birth_date}}}
Place of birth Vancouver, BC Canada
Date of death {{{death_date}}}
Place of death {{{death_place}}}
Resides {{{resides}}}
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Trainer {{{trainer}}}
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Win/Loss Record {{{winloss_record}}}
Debut {{{debut}}}
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Simon Fleas is a profesional e-fed wrestler. He has never won a match in his entire career.

Before Wrestling

Simon has been a lifelong wrestling fan ever since he can first remember. Every week as a child he would sit in front of the TV every Saturday morning not only to watch the matches but to write down the results in his own private journal. Everything from the wrestler names, their records, their finishers, all the way down to eye color he had scribbled away in his notebook, which over the years would grow into an impressive library. After graduating from high school he went to college to get his degree in accounting, but his wrestling fixation was still in high gear. He would often cut class or sneak out after curfew to go see any and all wrestling shows that came within a 300 mile radius of his home. He graduated from college with top honors and was able to get a job with a major credit card company quite easily, and he quickly made his way up to upper management before turning 25. Even with his success in the corporate world he still couldn't shake the wrestling bug. By this time the tape trade network was in high gear and Simon would grab up any thing he could get while still traveling far and wide for any promotion that caught his eye, front row every time. At the age of 36 he was offered a partnership with his company for a very large of money but to every one's surprise he said no. Instead he decided to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a professional wrestler. The next day he found a wrestling school and began his training. Despite being 15 years older than most of his class mates Simon worked hard every night to keep up and improve his game. After eight solid months of non stop training he was allowed to enter the ring for the first time, mostly due to his eagerness and bright attitude than any skill he possessed. His first match was a squash, ending with Simon being press slammed and pinned in under two minutes. In spite of the beating he called it "the best day of my life", and he has been staring at the lights ever since.


Simon signed on with the DOUG FIR promotion at its very beginning and wrestled the first match ever for the company, a loss to Bob Ott. While the other wrestlers on the roster have moved up the card to bigger spots Simon has stayed on the very bottom for the entire duration of his career with the company, curtain jerking and getting beat rather easily every single time. Week after week, month after month, year after year, the result is always the same. Another loss.

Suddenly, after several years of losing, it appeared that Simon would finally get the chance he'd always been looking for. Mr. Sensational, the World Champion at the time, was conducting an interview in his dressing room and he offered a title shot to the next person who walked through the door. Sure enough Simon entered, thinking it was the rest room, and was offered the title shot. The next week Simon got the entrance of a lifetime. As Mr. Sensational waited for him in the ring, Simon came out from the back riding a white stallion and accompanied by a chorus line of dancing girls while "Simply The Best" by Tina Turner blasted over the PA. Fireworks, confetti, flashing lights, the whole nine yards. Simon was pumped up like he had never been before. But once the bell rang the dream was over as Mr. Sensational defeated Simon in a matter of seconds, sending Simon right back to the opening slot of the show and back to losing. Same as always.

Signature Moves

On the rare occasion when he gets some offense in Simon has used only a hiptoss, bodyslam, and some awkward looking punches.




  • King Of The Enhancement Talent
  • Mr. Zero For Infinity
  • The Little Engine That Can't
  • Jobber Pants

Random Informational Tidbits

  • Simon's appearance is that of every WWF Superstars jobber all rolled into one. He sports an uneven molester mustache, a frizzy mullet with a receding hairline and bald spot, pot belly, pasty white skin tone, a single knee pad, no wrist tape, and the drawstring hanging out of his trunks. He wears a Members Only jacket to the ring.
  • Simon has only had one musical entrance in his career. Usually he stands in the corner, pumps his fist and smiles while being introduced, and that's about it.
  • Despite his horrible ring record Simon is one of the most over people on the roster. Fans don't veiw him as a typical pathetic jobber, more of a hopelessly optimistic dreamer who will someday make it big.
  • A running joke in DOUG FIR locker rooms is "What do Simon Fleas and a hooker have in common? They both spend most of the night on their backs."
  • During matches that get huge pops commentater Mitchell Fitzpatrick says "I haven't heard an ovation like this since Simon Fleas successfully executed a hip toss!"
  • His only real nemisis is Orange Peel Face, who gets the total opposite reaction Simon does.
  • Has lost to every single person on the roster.

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