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The Turd

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The Turd
Poop
Statistics
Real name Jonathan Oliver Blair III
Ring Names {{{names}}}
Height 6'2
Weight 217 lbs.
Date of birth April 1, 1965
Place of birth Cleveland, OH
Date of death
Place of death
Resides Braddock, TX
Billed from Cleveland, OH
Trainer
Current
federation(s)
WNWA
Previous
federation(s)
{{{previous_efeds}}}
Handled by
Win/Loss Record {{{winloss_record}}}
Debut 1997
Retired {{{retired}}}

The Turd, (born Jonathan Oliver Blair III on April 1, 1965) is an American professional wrestler currently wrestling for the WNWA and the personal bodyguard to The Liberal Librarian.

History

The Turd is perhaps the most controversial character in the WNWA. He is easily recognized by his "Turd" costume and the horrendous smell that emenates from him. Though not much is known of his childhood through his early adulthood, it is rumored that The Turd was a naval officer with of the Office of Naval Intelligence, who was imprisoned in a Afghani prison following his capture by the Russians in 1987 during a covert operation. The years of imprisonment and torture warped his mind, so much so that Blair actually believes he is excrement and he wears his "turd" costume everywhere he goes.

The Turd made his debut in 1997. He often teamed with Skidmark, though the two had a falling out over Blair's views over gay marriage. The two fought a grudge match at the WNWA Legends Reunion in August 2006 with The Turd gaining a dominating victory. The Turd, Skidmark and a great deal of the tag team division and the lower card wrestlers were then terminated in a cost-cutting move by Bob Osborne due to the massive contract signed by Thunderlips.

The Liberal Librarian brought The Turd back to the WNWA as a bodyguard in December 2006. Since his return, The Turd has taken on a much more effeminant personality and has become very aggressive in exhibiting homosexual behavior.

The Turd was named by Judge William J. Jennings (to the protestations of J.R. Ewing) as one of the participants in the WNWA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament on February 27, 2007. He was the Liberal Librarian's opponent in a first round match-up. The Turd got himself intentionally disqualified by attacking referee Rick Clark, allowing The Lib to advance to the second round without breaking a sweat.

The Turd developed an unhealthy obsession with Triple K that culminated in a vicious street fight at UnCivil War with Triple K scoring the victory, but then being brutally physically and sexually assaulted after the bloodbath.

On July 24, 2007, The Turd was arrested by Sheriff Washburn for vandalizing several Braddock County churches by spreading feces on the walls.

Personal Views

As a wrestler/bodyguard, the Turd likes to intimidate his opponents with overly suggestive homoerotic behavior. He often attempts to kiss his male opponents or gyrate his hips on them, especially after they have been defeated.

Trivia

  • When not guarding the Liberal Librarian or attending WNWA events, the Turd can often be found sunning himself in neighborhood horse or cow pastures. A federal court order prevents him from stepping near goat

or sheep pastures for undisclosed reasons.

  • The Turd uses "Rubb It" by The Jackers backed by a selection of fart machine noises as his entrance music.

Moveset

  • Finishing and signature moves
  • The Plop (splash off the top rope)
  • Shit Face (kisses his opponents on the mouth)
  • Dookey love (gyrates on his opponents)
  • Regular moves
  • The Wipe (open-handed slap)
  • The Smudge (running bull dog)

Blog

The Turd keeps a disturbing blog entitled Juicy Thoughts here: [1]


Turd-music

The Turd earns extra income by entertaining WNWA fans in the public restrooms of live events. He believes "music helps the digestive process."

Plop

The Turd sets up his patented "Plop" onto a helpless Delbert Johnson.

Turd-wall

The Turd makes an obscene gesture.

Turdcorn

The Turd in 1997- notice the different costume with corn accents.

Jon-oli-bla

The Turd outside Braddock City Hall protesting the war.

Turd

A fan of the Turd at LibFest 07 at Digger Barnes Memorial Park.

Floatie1

The Turd stumps for Hillary Clinton for President in front of the Braddock County Public Library.

Job-fan

A fan of Frustrated Inc. receives a hug and kiss from her favorite wrestler, the Turd.

Datoid

The Turd celebrates at his master's (the Liberal Librarian) celebration, Libapalooza. The Turd his wearing is best outfit to honor the Lib's reign as WNWA Heavyweight Champion, dude.

Turd angry aroused

The Turd (who is visibly aroused) celebrates the Lib's recent victory over Shamookey Sanders at a WNWA house show.

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