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Ultimo Chocula
Ultimochocula
Statistics
Real name {{{realname}}}
Ring Names {{{names}}}
Height 5'10
Weight 232 lbs.
Date of birth  ???
Place of birth Portland, OR
Date of death {{{death_date}}}
Place of death {{{death_place}}}
Resides {{{resides}}}
Billed from {{{billed_from}}}
Trainer {{{trainer}}}
Current
federation(s)
EWT,DOUG FIR, HMC!!!
Previous
federation(s)
{{{previous_efeds}}}
Handled by {{{handler}}}
Win/Loss Record {{{winloss_record}}}
Debut {{{debut}}}
Retired {{{retired}}}

Ultimo Chocula is a profesional e-fed wrestler. Currently he wrestles for Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation and DOUG FIR. He is known for all sorts of crap, most of which have nothing to do with his actual wrestling talent. He often goes on long rambling promos that make little sense to anyone except him.

A Star Is Bored

Ultimo got his start in wrestling as a teenager, teaming with his twin brother Disco Volante to form The Polar Bears (they didn't pick the name). They toured the country in various indy feds making a name for themselves as one of the most cohesive tag teams in the world. They were doomed from the start though as Volante was the exact opposite of his brother in every way and they clashed constantly. While Volante was the more level headed, likable, and dependable of the two, Ultimo was weird, abrasive, and often acted like a ADD stricken five year old on Pixie Stix. The team dissolved when Volante recieved a six figure contract from a major promotion in Canada but could care less about Ultimo. The team dissolved and the two haven't talked since.

Now on his own, Ultimo began wrestling in any federation that would have him. He made a big splash in the Big Apple Hardcore promotion in New York by defeating Al Jablonsky, the Five Burroughs champ at the time, in under a minute in a non title bout. He also became quite popular in the French promotion Zoot Allures Wrestling. He developed a cult following in both promotions and used the popularity to get signed to the EWT.


Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation

Ultimo debuted in EWT against Chris Masters, breaking his nose in the process. He then proclaimed himself the greatest champion in wrestling, The Gene Rayburn Memorial Champion, which is the main title from The Big Fat Wrestling Whatsis Of The Pacific Northwest And Tibet. Everyone in the EWT knew he was making the whole thing up but Ultimo persisted it was real, even going so far as to wearing a championsip belt made of cardboard and decorated in sparkles, smiley face stickers, sharpie marker, and Christmas lights. This caught the ire of PZA, who faced Ultimo for the GRM belt in a TLC match. PZA won the "belt" and promptly ripped it up (it has since been duct taped back together and is sitting in a closet somewhere). Afterwards Ultimo had a chance to win a real belt, the Ox Division Title, but came up short several times.

His bizarre antics got the attention of Joe Ragnal, who called him a "loon" among other things. This sparked a heated war of words between the two and they faced off against each other in the first ever FUN House match which Ragnal won. Ultimo was on a big losing streak and in his frustration he challenged Ragnal to a rematch. After a back and forth affair Ultimo finally got a win over his rival, causing him to act even more abrasive than before.

With a big win under his belt he began to sniff around for another title shot, this time eyeing Paul Podanski's Toolshed Title. The two traded it back and forth several times backstage and in other places due to the 24/7 rule. After a ladder match with Paul where Ultimo won the belt for the sixth time the belt became official with Ultimo becoming the first offical champion. His reign only lasted a month as he lost the belt to Paul again at "Season's Beatings". But he wasn't beaten yet as at the very same event he and Billy Ubermark, along with manager Moniqua Morricone and her dog Fru Fru, became one of the most well known tag teams in EWT history, The Handsome Boy Modeling School.

to be continued when I get my second wind...

DOUG FIR

Ultimo debuted in DOUG FIR by defeating Simon Fleas. He quickly became very popular and had several feuds with the upper mid card heels such as Ravishing Rafael, Big Jake, & The Creep From The Deep. He did very well in these feuds but couldn't quite make it to the main event despite his popularity.

At the PPV event "Slowly Going The Way Of The Dodo" (similar to the Survivor Series) Ultimo Chocula was given the title of team captain for one of the ten teams but couldn't get anyone to join him up until the day of the event. Five minutes before the match he drafted other misfits onto the team, Oceanic (a barefoot Hawaiian woman who prefers to fight men), 1 Cool Cat (a lounge singer in a pink leopard print kitty mask who smokes Lucky Strikes and sips martinis on his way to the ring), and Dr. Jones (a jobber & a parody of fat white guys doing Puro moves). To everyone's surprise the team gelled extremely well and came out on top of the more coherant and experienced team The Texas Desperados. Shortly thereafter the four castaways became a full fledged stable called 76 (because they were outside when they had to decide on the name and a gas station was the first thing Ultimo saw) and they began a very long and heated feud with The French Connection stable consisting of Louis VIII, Bruticus, Massive Attack, and Lucky Pierre. After 8 months of intense feuding between the two evenly matched factions Ultimo and Oceanic recieved a Tag Title match vs the then champions Attack and Pierre at the PPV "The Head, The Tail, The Whole Damn Thing". After an exciting 45 bout it appeared that Ultimo and Oceanic won the titles when Oceanic pinned Pierre, but the titles were stripped a week later when Louis revealed that time expired just after the referee counted two on the deciding fall. They were unsuccessful in a rematch two weeks later. After more intense feuding both factions squared off in a blow off 8 man tag at the Setting Fire To Sleeping Giants event. 76 got the win in a very intense back and forth match up. Soon after the stable broke up and each member went their seperate ways, although they still consider each other allies.

By himself once again Ultimo was entered in a Number One Contender battle royal with 10 other men for the World Title held by The Tyrant, the most dominant champion DOUG FIR had ever seen. He won the battle royal but the following week he lost his contendership to Kevin Angelo. Ultimo went back to the upper mid card for a few months but soon got the attention of The Tyrant when he pinned him with a School Boy in a tag match. The Tyrant, who had not been pinned or submitted in almost two years as champion, took this as a major insult. He sent his right hand man Ogre to take care of Ultimo but Ogre was defeated. Finally Ultimo got his title shot at "Eastbound & Down" but lost after The Tyrant hit him with the Iron Fist Driver. Ultimo challenged The Tyrant to a rematch, putting his career on the line, which was accepted and the two met again at "Great White North". The Tyrant again hit the Iron Fist Driver but this time Ultimo kicked out and reversed a second attempt, hit the Sugar Fix pinning him and becoming the new DOUG FIR World champion, ending The Tyrant's reign and sending his former 76 stablemates to celebrate in the ring with him.

Although he was successful in defending the title against fellow tehnico Night Owl, he was attacked afterwards by The Tyrant and Ogre. Claiming that Ultimo isn't fit to carry the title of World Champion The Tyrant has vowed to make Ultimo's reign as difficult as possible. Ultimo, in retaliation, has vowed that The Tyrant will never see another title shot as long as he's the champion, which has caused even more problems for him. The Tyrant has since enlisted the help of Martin HxG to take the strap off of Ultimo, which he will attempt to do at the next PPV.

Hyperactive Mega Candy!!!

Ultimo joined the upstart promotion HMC!!!, a very odd and super dorky federation located in Japan. Complying to the "stable" rule (the promotion only allows wrestlers that are in stables consisting of three people) he is teaming with his frequent DOUG FIR tag partner Oceanic and his former EWT tag partner The Daryl Dragon, forming the team Ultimo Dragon +1. During the grand opening weekend the team won the Trios Title tournament defeating the very dangerous Poison stable and becoming the first ever Trios Tag Champions. The team was especially delighted when presented the championship when they discovered that the belt plates are small flat screens displaying a continual loop of a Pac Man game, which Ultimo called "pretty fucking rad".

Next month the team of U&O will try for the tag titles while The Daryl Dragon will compete for the World title.


Title History

  • PNWCW Tag Team Champions (with Disco Volante)
  • Milwaukee Open Tag Tournament Champions (With Disco Volante)
  • TBFWWOTPNWAT Gene Rayburn Memorial Champion
  • EWT Toolshed Champion (6)
  • EWT Tag Team Champion (with Billy Ubermark)
  • EWT Winner of the Pain In The Ass Rumble becoming the first offical King Of The EWT
  • DOUG FIR World Champion
  • DOUG FIR Tag Team Champion (with Oceanic)
  • HMC!!! Trios Tag Champion (with Oceanic and The Daryl Dragon)
  • GWC: Northern California TV Champion

In Wrestling

  • Signature Moves
  • Sugar Fix(Gangrel style Implant DDT with a higher jump)
  • Squid Face(Full Nelson into a face plant)
  • Earth Clutch (Earthquake Splash off the top turnbuckle onto opponent's back followed by a Camel Clutch afterward)
  • Cannonball Run (Somersault plancha to the outside)
  • Crowning Achievement (Lariat with a loaded arm brace)
  • DeMento Kneedrop (Lowers knee pad before giving the knee drop)
  • Across 110th Street (Sings the song of the same name while applying a grounded abdominal stretch with his leg hooking opponent's head)
  • Tornado Suplex
  • Ghetto Blaster
  • Boston Crab
  • Super Kick
  • Flying Forearm
  • Quick Legdrop
  • Various Moonsaults in all of their forms
  • Theme songs
  • "Poor And Weird" by The Briefs (EWT, default theme)
  • "Strip Search" by Faith No More (EWT, As his King theme)
  • "Look At This Face" by Handsome Boy Modeling School (EWT, tag theme with Billy Ubermark)
  • "Love Will Keep Us Together" by The Captain & Tennille (EWT, tag theme with The Daryl Dragon)
  • "Transistors Gone Wild" by The Network (DOUG FIR, 1st theme)
  • "Hurdy Gurdy Man" by Donovan (DOUG FIR, 2nd and current theme)
  • "Lifeboat" by Lovage (DOUG FIR, tag theme with Oceanic)
  • "I Was Made For Loving You" by KISS (DOUG FIR, 76 stable theme)
  • Appearance

Ultimo has a swimmer's build, defined but not overly huge. At first he kept his hair spiked and bleached out but since he has let it grown out to his shoulders and is a dark brown, although he recently dyed a blue streak in it. Sometimes he grows his goatee out and at one point dyed a yellow smiley face in it. Outside the ring he dresses in clothes he finds in lost & founds or rips off from stores. To this day he has never paid for a piece of clothing. His ring wear has varied depending on promotion or gimmick.

  • In the EWT he usually wore brown tights with matching knee pads and modified Chuck Taylors made into boots. During his king gimmick he wore purple and gold tights with a crown over the crotch with purple boots that sparkled like disco balls. During the HBMS era his look changed from week to week depending on what designer fashioned their tights. For a brief stint he wore a pair of red Adidas sweat pants when he was jobbing and didn't seem to care all that much.
  • In DOUG Fir his tights almost always have the UC logo (it looks very similar to the Montreal Expos logo) on the front in revolving colors(lime green, nuclear orange, bright pink, etc)and pattern schemes (tye dyed, tiger striped, little bananas, etc). The only time he wore tights without the UC logo was during his tag run with Oceanic when it resembled the old Billy Jack Haynes look (yellow and green, arm bands, Oregon silouhetted on the front). His boots are always white.
  • Nicknames
  • King Choculon

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